The Female Orgasm

I should probably warn you, I am unduly interested in the female orgasm.

Given a chance, I would dedicate my life to its study… determining how best to bring it about, how often it can be produced in what spans of time. Working, through experimentation, to find every possible way to make it occur, from the simplest to the most byzantine. What's the fastest way to cause it? The slowest that remains pleasurable? Which implements help, which hinder?

How is it affected by foreplay? The kind that starts when you wake up in the morning to being told just how beautiful and amazing you are by a man handing you a cup of freshly made coffee, and continues when you find a sexy note in your bento box at lunchtime, then later when you come home to find the house clean, dinner on the table, and the kids sent off to stay at a friend's.

The kind where it's made absolutely and abundantly clear that you are the absolute center of this man's universe.

What other factors come into play? Does setting make a difference? Could it be made to happen at unexpected times and unexpected places? What would be involved in such variants?

If the test subject is willing, I believe extremely valuable data could be extracted by carefully observing her bringing it about on herself.

Speaking of test subjects, I do have one, and only one, in mind. While that does sound like a small sample size, rest assured that it will suffice for the purposes of this study.

And, no. You don't need to fill out any application. You've already been approved.

The only question which remains is… when can you start?

PS — Yes, that card was me. No, it wasn't a great one. Yes, it was the best choice in my hand at the time. Yes, it was kind of fun to make you say it. No, it wasn't anywhere near as fun as hearing you say “Doing my duty to your booty”, which sadly was not me. Also, side note: I could have sworn that expansion pack was shuffled in better… I figured we'd see one, maybe two cards from it the whole game… hmmm… must have been fate.

Oh, and yes, I've decided that giving you that card means I've now given you an orgasm.

And… Uh… Yes… I, um… have some vague fantasies that it wasn't actually the first time I've done so…

🤞